Society reinforces this kind of behavior. We want people to like us. Like politicians, we are taught to use neutral phrases to avoid offence.
But I think we owe it to others, and to ourselves, to be respectfully honest. Some situations could even be salvaged with more open communication.
Being nice wastes people’s time
Once a month I get a call from some guy in Washington, D.C., who name-drops continually, says he knows the chief of defence, and who wants me to run an ad in his defence industry publication. Right from "hello" he sounds like he owns the world and that he is connected to every decision maker in the Pentagon. Then he asks me to place a $6,000 ad in a journal I’ve never heard of.
I should promptly tell him that I have no interest in advertising in his esteemed journal, but instead I listen to his entire spiel. In the end I waste his time and mine.
Subtlety doesn’t work
I find inspiration when I remember one of my first business partners' techniques. Two of us were techies and our third partner was a business guy. He was, what you would call, unencumbered and didn't filter his thoughts. He could say outrageous things to our employees, but somehow he did it with such finesse that employees walked away feeling wonderful. I observed real behavioural improvements.
The skill of being direct is one I aspire to develop. Bill Hybels, an author of several great texts on leadership, says that leaders should be “thanking machines,” and I’ve really tried to do this over the past few years. I’ve actually found it quite enjoyable because when I thank people and see them uplifted, it makes me feel better too.
Thankfulness can be contagious, but you must continue to provide constructive criticism as well.
Early course correction
In the workplace, the result of not being direct could result in losing great employees who take silence to mean they are on borrowed time. This can lead to reduced morale, productivity, or even resignations.
At my company, we gather and report key business information to our employees monthly – usually over food. These events help to spread good news quickly, and also help to deliver difficult news in a much more personal way than e-mails. For employees at our two other design groups we record the sessions, and post the videos on our internal website.
Late course correction
I recently met with one of Ottawa’s top HR lawyers and was intrigued to find that there has been a change in recommendations on how to communicate layoff notices to employees. The shift has been towards transparency.
Here’s the issue: employees are almost always laid off without cause, and in the past they were given no reason for their departure. But there is almost always a reason why one employee is let go versus another.
We are now advised to tell the employee about areas where they could have improved – to help them in their next company and position (this is still considered to be “without cause” in the legal sense). Of course you should do this with great care to keep it as positive as possible, given the circumstances.
By the way, letting an employee go with cause (such as fraud against the company) is extremely rare. I recommend you look at every alternative before proceeding down that road. Based on what I have read, you are likely to lose the battle – courts often side with the employee.
Maintaining a balance
The art of being direct is about stating your case and eliminating negative emotional energy. It also depends on your delivery – remember that non-verbal communication is often more significant than the words themselves.
Body language, tone, and even when and where you choose to disclose information can make your efforts succeed or fail. These are skills worth perfecting.
Michael Wakim is founder and CEO of Fidus Systems, an electronic product development company with design groups in Ottawa, Toronto, and Milpitas, California
